Holding the Rudder

Attending marketing classes when working on my baccalaureate degree, I was taught to answer market demand and to perform extensive market research to learn my potential clients' needs and wants.  The findings from this research is included in any business plan worth funding. 

Admittedly, I did no research, but followed that sense of knowing lying in my gut when I began the Rock River Cafe'.  This lack of research and leap of faith attracted criticism from the slamming door, and created fear and doubt in those close at hand who don't know they can trust me.

I'm not accustomed to losing.  And I am accustomed to holding the rudder and leading the fleet.  But with any voyage in rough or calm seas, measures must be taken, and course corrections must be made.  The crew has to be evaluated and rations have to be divvied.  Enemies are made, admirations are lost, and everyone becomes tired of the voyage at some point.  But the rudder must be held.  One must not be shaken by embarrassment, by fatigue, by doubt, or by realizing you've fallen further from your goal, rather than closer.

It is within each of us, to do what we sense we must do.  Some may call this Dharma, or one's calling, etc..  This knowing may come in a difficult relationship, it could be brief, it could be life-long. One may live his calling his entire life or one may have several missions in life.  Marketing research will not give you the confirmation you need in your calling.  Friends and family may not understand.  But at the end of the day, following that deep sense of knowing will give you more peace than to turn your back on it. It's the heart that must be satisfied, or there is no satisfaction.

The strength to hold the rudder is within only you.  Learning how to hold on may be the most important part of the journey.  Learning that the rudder is no more important than those you love may be what you need to learn the most.  But never feeling the resistance against the rudder, and never feeling the sense of command over it, I can't imagine.  That is entrepreneurship.  

Once on this journey I've undertaken, I've done a lot of research.  I've made numerous course corrections, and expect to make many more still.  But it was my gut that brought me here.  It was my faith in myself and my family that has endured.  And it was my family who have taken turns on the rudder when my grip became tired.

Who's in Charge?

Admittedly, it was pure intuition and inspiration that led me to create Rock River Cafe: A Fresh Expression of Local Cuisine. I have a masters degree in business administration and have worked for successful, struggling, growing, shrinking, reworking organizations over the years. You'd think I would know better than to listen to my gut so whole-heartedly.

No. I don't.

There's a part of my personality (that part of me that joined the U.S. Army) that will jump on a hand grenade for a really good cause.  The time, the place, the moment of me, all seemed so certain that there was nothing else but "A Fresh Expression of Local Cuisine".

And there is. There is a fresh expression growing from the earth, budding with hope, nourishing those who flock to the farm markets desiring to finally be fed... food.

And the room here is empty. I'm holding a megaphone on the back row of the bleacher, pretty much forgotten. If I've learned anything over the course of my life, at the end of the day, the individuals who led a stream of fish in one direction or another can't really matter. Because at the beginning of the day, all that mattered was that goal. There's no need for an appalling goal shift of paying the ego.
I've never been in charge of anything, anyway.

Unchecked Exuberance

Having a really, really great idea seems to fill ones energy-well till it's overflowing into the landscape. This can have the effect of infecting the surrounding population with doses of the juice that sparks more ideas and excitement. In the right circumstance, the energy of change grows quickly and lights twinkle in the wilderness-of-was like fireflies on some magic summer night reflecting the miracles of the starry sky.

But exuberance unchecked can run the well dry. This lesson left me holding my palm up for the sky to ponder and grace, or not, for what seemed like an eternity.

And the view from afar? I can only imagine, but as the dining room became emptier and emptier, and my forecasts for rain continued to overestimate the daily reality, my imagination became fairly (and fairly reasonably) paranoid.

Lesson learned? Position yourself for continued exuberance. Run in the woods if there's energy at the end of the day from the excitement of the situation. Always feel the bottom of the lake beneath your feet, knowing that unknown forces may pull you at times and you'll need the strength to return to stability.